SAN FRANCISCO–EDW Lynch announced Tues­day at the Amne­sia Bar and Con­fer­ence Cen­ter that the manglomerate’s roman­tic pro­jec­tions for this fis­cal year have been adjusted. Cit­ing San Francisco’s ongo­ing roman­tic reces­sion, EDW Lynch assured stake­hold­ers the adjust­ments were mod­est and one-time only. This move fol­lows the manglomerate’s deci­sion last month to leave the roman­tic mar­ket due to “mar­ket troubles.”

Dur­ing Q&A with mem­bers of the inter­na­tional press, EDW Lynch addressed the manglomerate’s posi­tion in the attrac­tive­ness index, the Par­ent Company’s demand for “a girl­friend by Thanks­giv­ing 2010,” and a key roman­tic goal involv­ing screen actress Natalie Portman.

From the press release:

Because of this unfore­seen lack of activ­ity on the mar­ket, EDW Lynch is adjust­ing roman­tic pro­jec­tions for this fis­cal year. This mod­est, one-time adjust­ment reflects a min­i­mal impact on our roman­tic oper­a­tions. EDW Lynch expects con­di­tions to improve this Fall, at which point the man­glom­er­ate will re-enter the San Fran­cisco roman­tic market.

See the full text of the press release
See revised roman­tic pro­jec­tions for this fis­cal year (FY 2011)

Cel­e­brated Bay Area human­i­tar­ian EDW Lynch flew back early from his work in the Mon­terey Bay fight­ing rogue sea otters in order to join a San Fran­cisco wel­com­ing com­mit­tee for “Hate 2.0 Pio­neers” the West­boro Bap­tist Church.

EDW Lynch has expressed a vig­or­ously anti-Hate posi­tion for years, even dur­ing the late ’90’s when Hate expe­ri­enced a brief pop­u­lar­ity due to the rise of real­ity television.

As part of his anti-Hate advo­cacy, EDW Lynch for­mally entered the inner sanc­tum of the Inter­net with his inau­gural post on noted weird-positive online jour­nal, Laugh­ing Squid: God Hates Twit­ter: West­boro Bap­tist Church Plans Protest at Twit­ter Headquarters

On Thurs­day and Fri­day, San Fran­cisco and Palo Alto mon­key stomped on West­boro in a series of baf­fling and spir­ited faux­tests. EDW Lynch for­mally invites West­boro to return to San Fran­cisco with the fol­low­ing promise: “Next time we will bring clowns.”

Cov­er­age of the Twit­ter counter faux­test by EDW Lynch cor­po­rate friend Geeked Info.

Cit­ing a life long com­pul­sion to serve the pub­lic good, EDW Lynch has pro­duced an unso­licited and unof­fi­cial report for the BBC with fel­low cit­i­zen jour­nal­ist Darvid Tok­ishi.