SAN FRANCISCO–In a surprise statement to the press, EDW Lynch confirmed rumors that the manglomerate has selected a new Girlfriend and Chief Snuggle Officer (CSO.) While the Girlfriend was not present at the Amnesia Bar and Conference Center, Watkins & Fox auditor Dr. Art Yaghoubi was on hand to independently verify her existence and cuteness.
The selection of the new Chief Snuggle Officer fulfills a promise to the Parent Company to obtain a girlfriend by Thanksgiving, 2010. Due to the strict Kiss & Tell policy at the manglomerate, no further details on the Girlfriend are available at this time.
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