SAN FRANCISCO–In a sur­prise state­ment to the press, EDW Lynch con­firmed rumors that the man­glom­er­ate has selected a new Girl­friend and Chief Snug­gle Offi­cer (CSO.) While the Girl­friend was not present at the Amne­sia Bar and Con­fer­ence Cen­ter, Watkins & Fox audi­tor Dr. Art Yaghoubi was on hand to inde­pen­dently ver­ify her exis­tence and cuteness.

The selec­tion of the new Chief Snug­gle Offi­cer ful­fills a promise to the Par­ent Com­pany to obtain a girl­friend by Thanks­giv­ing, 2010. Due to the strict Kiss & Tell pol­icy at the man­glom­er­ate, no fur­ther details on the Girl­friend are avail­able at this time.

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See also:

EDW Lynch Now Accept­ing Roman­tic Appli­ca­tions
Press Con­fer­ence: EDW Lynch Announces Reen­try to Roman­tic Market

All EDW Lynch press con­fer­ence videos can be found here

SAN FRANCISCO–EDW Lynch announced in a press con­fer­ence Tues­day that the man­glom­er­ate has exceeded its alco­hol bud­get for the fis­cal quar­ter. A num­ber of fac­tors, includ­ing increased roman­tic oper­a­tions, led to the one-time over­age. EDW Lynch assured stake­hold­ers that the over­age was off­set by sav­ings in the health bud­get, and that the alco­hol was not entirely con­sumed by him.

The inter­na­tional press ques­tioned EDW Lynch regard­ing the use of alco­hol in roman­tic oper­a­tions, and the source of the sav­ings in the health budget.

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Addi­tional EDW Lynch press con­fer­ence videos can be found here

SAN FRANCISCO–In a sur­prise announce­ment, Chair­man and CEO EDW Lynch offi­cially declared the manglomerate’s reen­try into San Francisco’s roman­tic mar­ket.  The reen­try marks the end of EDW Lynch’s three month hia­tus from the mar­ket due to a “roman­tic reces­sion.” Strong signs of a roman­tic mar­ket recov­ery detected by the manglomerate’s Part­ner Man­age­ment experts were cited as the pri­mary rea­son behind the move.

Blog­gers have been report­ing rumors of the EDW Lynch’s return to the roman­tic mar­ket repeat­edly over the course of the first fis­cal quar­ter, while some fans were begin­ning to despair that per­haps the hia­tus would last into 2011.

Dur­ing a ques­tion and answer ses­sion after the announce­ment, mem­bers of the inter­na­tional press asked EDW Lynch if a girl was behind the return to the roman­tic mar­ket, which the man­glom­er­ate would nei­ther con­firm nor deny due to its strict Kiss/Tell Pol­icy.

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Addi­tional EDW Lynch press con­fer­ence videos can be found here