At 1:41 Pacific Time this after­noon, OKCu­pid informed EDW Lynch of a new “Ice­Breaker” match on their website.

You have a new Ice­Breaker from [redacted]. Read it now! –OKCupid!

As Vice Pres­i­dent of Part­ner Man­age­ment, it is my duty to announce the EDW Lynch Cor­po­rate Man­glom­er­ate cat­e­gor­i­cally rejects this Ice­Breaker and refuses to read it now or at any time in the future. I present a num­ber of rea­sons for this:

EDW Lynch expresses deep con­cern about the accu­racy and util­ity of the OKCu­pid algorithm–and in par­tic­u­lar the alarm­ing num­ber of women selected by the site who love rock­climb­ing and have large, fright­en­ing dogs.

The man­glom­er­ate has also pub­licly with­drawn from San Francisco’s roman­tic mar­ket. This includes the sus­pen­sion of all offi­cial dat­ing activ­i­ties on OKCupid.

The Ice­Breaker fea­ture of OKCu­pid pre­vents our Part­ner Man­age­ment staff from visu­ally ver­i­fy­ing the attrac­tive­ness and/or intrigu­ingly mixed eth­nic her­itage of the poten­tial roman­tic oppor­tu­nity in ques­tion. Nor is it pos­si­ble to judge their social equity based upon the attrac­tive­ness of their friends and the inter­est­ing­ness of activ­i­ties in which they take part. It is the online dat­ing equiv­a­lent of a blind date, and EDW Lynch absolutely refuses to take part in any such dat­ing paradigm.

Jas­mine Steele
Vice Pres­i­dent of Part­ner Man­age­ment
EDW Lynch, CM