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*or his authorized signatories and assigns
What is a Moment of Awkwardnesss?
–J., Portland, Oregon
J., thanks for this great question. A lot of people want to know more about the term “Moment of Awkwardness,” or MOA. First of all, it’s nothing to be afraid of. Moments of Awkwardness are a natural and regular byproduct of EDW Lynch social operations. Social awkwardness is a core competency of the EDW Lynch brand, and we strongly believe it is part of the manglomerate’s intrinsic charm, much in the same way that moldiness makes blue cheese so irresistible.
There are several categories of MOAs. The most common are:
- A misunderstanding–joke or obscure reference.
- Romantic intent (unexpected)
- Social gaffe
An MOA can range in severity from mild to extremely awkward. EDW Lynch uses the metric “Awks per Meter” measurement (Awks/M), ranging from 1.0 to 11.0 Awks/M. Most MOAs are mild, rating at less than 3.0 Awks/M. Should an MOA exceed that threshold, two things will happen: we disclose the MOA via our public edwlynchcm twitter account and we dispatch our Awkward Mitigation Team (AMT).
The Awkward Mitigation Team
In 2005 EDW Lynch formed the Awkward Mitigation Team. The AMT consists of a 24 hour on-call team of professionals: lawyers, crisis managers, counselors, and dating experts. Once an MOA has been detected, the AMT is dispatched to assess and respond. Very often a bit of education goes a long way in mitigating a moment of awkwardness. Usually a misunderstanding can be cleared up, or an obscure pop culture reference explained. On rare occasions, the MOA is so severe that the recipient may need to be counseled by our professionals or their Partner Management dating or Preferred Rhombus™ friend account may need to be terminated.
Once the Awkward Mitigation Team has responded to the Moment of Awkwardness, an SR1090 MOA Report is issued and filed for further study.
Social awkwardness is part of doing business with EDW Lynch. It’s our responsibility to respond to and mitigate these MOA’s with all of our corporate resources. And I assure you, nobody is more advanced in the creation and mitigation of social awkwardness than the EDW Lynch Corporate Manglomerate.
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