SAN FRANCISCO–Celebrated humanitarian EDW Lynch has once again taken up the candy cane sword for Santa Claus. After last year’s victorious Operation Yule Storm, the North Pole asked EDW Lynch to command a joint security operation to protect Sleigh One: Operation Chimney Sweep. The December 4th mission was an unquestionable victory for Santa.
SAN FRANCISCO–In a surprise statement to the press, EDW Lynch confirmed rumors that the manglomerate has selected a new Girlfriend and Chief Snuggle Officer (CSO.) While the Girlfriend was not present at the Amnesia Bar and Conference Center, Watkins & Fox auditor Dr. Art Yaghoubi was on hand to independently verify her existence and cuteness.
The selection of the new Chief Snuggle Officer fulfills a promise to the Parent Company to obtain a girlfriend by Thanksgiving, 2010. Due to the strict Kiss & Tell policy at the manglomerate, no further details on the Girlfriend are available at this time.
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All EDW Lynch press conference videos can be found here