EDW Lynch Responds to Voicemail Bombardment Allegations

SAN FRANCISCO–During a rou­tine press con­fer­ence EDW Lynch was con­fronted by heated ques­tion­ing from mem­bers of the inter­na­tional press regard­ing an alleged “voice­mail bom­bard­ment.” Due to the ongo­ing inves­ti­ga­tion by the Awk­ward Mit­i­ga­tion Team (AMT), EDW Lynch was unable to respond to spe­cific ques­tions regard­ing the alleged series of voice­mails and text mes­sages sent, allegedly, to an indi­vid­ual over the course of the weekend.

EDW Lynch did take the oppor­tu­nity express regret for a 2004 inci­dent in which 10 mes­sages and phone calls were trans­mit­ted to a young woman in San Fran­cisco. The man­glom­er­ate takes these mat­ters very seri­ously and looks for­ward to the con­clu­sion of the Awk­ward Mit­i­ga­tion Team’s investigation.

In other news, EDW Lynch has recently enjoyed the finest sand­wich of this fis­cal quar­ter. For the record, it was a Viet­namese Banh Mi.

See the full text of the press release

Addi­tional EDW Lynch press con­fer­ence videos can be found here

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6 Comments

  1. weazie says:
    July 28, 2010 at 3:11 pm

    I met some­one who was in your core desired demo­graphic, except slightly age defi­cient. (But, rest assured, of major­ity.) Unaware of recep­tive­ness to a cor­po­rate merger.

  2. Bruce Partington-Plans says:
    July 29, 2010 at 3:19 am

    Can EDW Lynch con­firm that the pur­chase and sub­se­quent pos­i­tive review of the sand­wich has, either directly or indi­rectly, ben­e­fited the Viet­namese sandwich-making indus­try? If so, does this indi­cate an inter­est on the part of EDW Lynch in this new market?

  3. EDW Lynch says:
    July 29, 2010 at 11:21 am

    Please con­tact our Part­ner Man­age­ment Divi­sion at your ear­li­est con­ve­nience: partnermanagement@edwlynch.com

  4. EDW Lynch says:
    July 29, 2010 at 11:23 am

    Due to EDW Lynch’s stand­ing in the com­mu­nity, we do expect a “bump” in Viet­namese sand­wich sales as a result of our endorse­ment. EDW Lynch has been a long­stand­ing advo­cate of franco-vietnamese sand­wich tech­nolo­gies and looks for­ward to broad expan­sion of this growth market.

  5. Sarah Hoopes says:
    July 29, 2010 at 11:53 am

    Out­stand­ing, gen­tle­man. Look­ing for­ward to many more M.O.A.s, S

  6. EDW Lynch says:
    July 29, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    Clearly, Sarah, you under­stand the EDW Lynch difference.

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