EDW Lynch Announces Departure from SF Romantic Market

SAN FRANCISCO– EDW Lynch held a press con­fer­ence late Tues­day to announce the manglomerate’s offi­cial depar­ture from San Francisco’s Roman­tic Mar­ket. Newly pro­moted Vice Pres­i­dent of Part­ner Man­age­ment, Jas­mine Steel, Esq., was on hand to field ques­tions and to assure the pub­lic that EDW Lynch’s depar­ture is a sign of mar­ket trou­bles and has no bear­ing on the manglomerate’s roman­tic valuation.

In the past fis­cal quar­ter, our ana­lysts have observed a sharp down­turn in roman­tic activ­ity, in other words, a roman­tic reces­sion. Due to the unfa­vor­able roman­tic cli­mate, effec­tive imme­di­ately, EDW Lynch is pulling out of the San Fran­cisco Roman­tic Market.

At this time all Part­ner Man­age­ment dat­ing accounts are closed and our oper­a­tions on OK Cupid are suspended.

EDW Lynch will rejoin the San Fran­cisco Roman­tic Mar­ket when con­di­tions improve.

EDW Announces His Departure on the OK Cupid dating site

EDW announces his depar­ture on the OK Cupid dat­ing site

Full text of the press release can be found here.

For fur­ther infor­ma­tion the press con­tact is Vice Pres­i­dent of Part­ner Man­age­ment Jas­mine Steel, Esq., jsteel at edwlynch.com

See also:

EDW Lynch Dis­closes LJBF Inci­dent at Tele­vised Conference

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 16th, 2010 at 12:31 pm and is filed under Press Conference. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

12 Comments

  1. DocPop says:
    June 16, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    EDW Lynch is pulling out of the San Fran­cisco roman­tic mar­ket… as the lady said to the soldier.

  2. Bruce Partington-Plans says:
    June 16, 2010 at 1:14 pm

    A wise move by EDW Lynch, I feel. Although if the San Fran­cisco Roman­tic Mar­ket con­di­tions are as bad as those here in Lon­don I fear the roman­tic reces­sion may be world­wide and, what’s more, terminal.

  3. EDW Lynch says:
    June 16, 2010 at 1:16 pm

    We are inter­ested to hear that mar­ket con­di­tions are unfa­vor­able in the Lon­don Mar­ket as well. Jas­mine Steel, our VP of Part­ner Man­age­ment, pre­dicts con­di­tions will improve in SF in the fall “with the return of legwarmers.”

  4. EDW Lynch says:
    June 16, 2010 at 1:17 pm

    Kind thanks Doc­tor Pop­u­lar for your inter­est in EDW Lynch.

  5. Bruce Partington-Plans says:
    June 16, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    EDW Lynch’s pre­dic­tion that the rein­tro­duc­tion of leg­warm­ers will act as a cat­a­lyst to improve SF mar­ket con­di­tions cor­re­sponds with sim­i­lar the­o­ries cur­rently being put for­ward in Lon­don. Only today there were dis­cus­sions with Senior Man­age­ment regard­ing the pop­u­lar­ity and pro­duc­tion of these items and although their impact on the roman­tic mar­ket was not assessed at the time the pos­si­bil­ity of such an effect will now cer­tainly be inves­ti­gated further.

  6. EDW Lynch says:
    June 16, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    Mr. Partington-Plans
    It is our con­clu­sion that Leg– and Armwarmer indices trend very closely to the over­all Roman­tic Mar­ket index (nat­u­rally util­i­tar­ian usage, such as by pro­fes­sional dancers, is excluded from this measurement.)

    As you may infer we have done exten­sive field research on this key metric.

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