In a depar­ture from his civil­ian con­sult­ing for Santa’s Lit­tle Secret Ser­vice, EDW Lynch served this Decem­ber in Santa’s Own 12th Nut­cracker Reg­i­ment. Cit­ing his deep com­mit­ment to “Christ­mas Cer­tainty” (the North Pole pol­icy to ensure Christ­mas occurs each year, and every­where), Cap­tain EDW “Pine Nut” Lynch armed him­self with a candy cane pis­tol and led Oper­a­tion Yule Storm into San Fran­cisco on Decem­ber 12th. The mis­sion: escort the yearly San­ta­con with extreme prejudice.

Tags: santa's little secret service

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